Lately, I have been thinking about whether or not write our own wedding vows. I love the idea of writing down our thoughts and feelings and sharing them with everyone. However, I know me. I am going to be a nervous wreck that day. This would not be the time for me to go off script and start my nervous babbling, which I do. ALL. THE. TIME. Before making this big decision, I thought I would do some research to help make an educated decision.
The first step should be to ask your future intended what his/her thoughts are about this. If they are completely opposed, then the answer is no. Don’t argue it or push it. You want your FI to be happy and carefree on your big day.
Once you have both agreed, you should discuss what type of vows you want to write. Together. Do you want sentimental, cute, comedic? You want to make sure you are both on the same page. If you prepare something very sentimental and he prepares something funny, one of you is bound to be upset and the other will just be embarrassed. So make sure you are both on the same page.
When you begin to write, sit down and think about why you are marrying this person. Why do you love them? How did you know you loved them? What is your favorite quality of your FI? This is the time to put it all out there. Does he make you laugh even when you are ready to cry? Does he give the best hugs? Do his habits of putting socks on the floor instead of in the hamper drive you crazy, but you love him anyway? Tell him!!
If you are having more trouble with writing them than you thought, do your own research. Find a quote that reminds you of your relationship. Pick a movie that describes you two perfectly and explain why. This is not something that you should throw together last-minute. You should spend time thinking and reflecting. There are a ton of books out there that can help when writing your own vows. You can even do some light reading to help get you inspired by reading The 50 Greatest Love Letters of All Time by David Lowenherz.
Lastly, you want to write it out word for word. Write exactly how you want to say it. Chances are you will rely on your written vows more than you think. Once you have done that – practice, practice, practice!! You do not want to stumble over your words. Maybe you won’t even have to refer to your written notes.
Whatever you do, write from the heart. Do what feels right. After all, that is how you got into this situation in the first place.