There is this YouTube video that was brought to my attention recently. If you are on facebook or go on YouTube often, you probably know the one I am talking about. Since Amy uses harsher language than I prefer to use on my blog, I am not going to link it. However, it isn’t hard to find. So let’s talk about “what these b*tches do wrong.”
In this video, Amy discusses why she thinks men become jerks once they get into a relationship. For those of you who have not watched the video, she basically says that men turn into jerks because of nagging, controlling women who should cook and do certain sexual acts for him (I will let your mind populate that!). She also goes on to say that you should appreciate him, learn to do the things he likes to do and remember to “do you” while he goes and does whatever he wants. Now there have been A LOT of responses from both men and women on this topic. Mostly the men say they agree with her, while the women bash her. I will say when I first watched this video, I didn’t really know what to think about it. Then I realized, I kind of agree with her.
WHAT?!?! Ok, pump the breaks. Don’t click out until you let me explain. Again, she was more vulgar than I might have been. But if she weren’t, we probably wouldn’t be talking about it. So think about it, really think about it. She makes a valid point.
First things first, this goes for MEN just as much as for women, so listen up fellas! I think this is one major point that Amy left out and partially why she has gotten bashed by so many women. Men are just as guilty of these things as women.
While not so eloquently put, Amy says that women should be respectful to their mates. They should appreciate them for who they are rather than who they want them to be. If you go back to my previous post “Tips from the married lady…” you can read how I feel about thinking you can change someone. In short, it just isn’t going to happen. You were an individual before you met him/her. Remember who that person was. Ultimately, that is who s/he fell in love with. I am not saying that you can’t change as time goes on, but as long as you remember the person you were when you met and do not completely abandon that you will remain happy together.
I agree that you should take interest in what the other enjoys. Does Joey love hearing about my incessant wedding talk? No, but he humors me and talks about it with me. Do I enjoy his video games? No, but I will sit there with him and watch him play NCAA football (I might pick on him if he does poorly, but that’s besides the point!). I also think there is a time for each of you to spend time without each other too. Go out with the girls. Get all dressed up, buy a new pair of shoes and go dancing! I may not agree with her easy-going attitude about the men going to strip clubs and flirting with other women. Let’s not push it. Remember mutual respect is key. Let him go out with his friends for the game and a beer (or three). Your life should not fall apart when he is not around.
As for the nagging and controlling part, well, that is pretty self-explanatory. Learn to talk to each other. It will go a long way. I don’t think that women are always to blame for men being jerks. But you should think about it. Maybe you DID do something to make him act like that. In other words, check yo’ self before you wreck yo’ self.
I am not touching the whole sex part. You know what you need to do to make each other happy in that department and if you don’t, again, talk about it. That’s it. Pure and simple. If you can’t talk about it spontaneously, watch Dr. Ruth together. I am sure that will bring up good conversation. She’s a hoot!
I may get some people who are upset by reading this, but it is what it is. I think Amy worded it poorly and possibly has a slightly warped sense of relationship, but she does make valid overall points. Just don’t take it literally, but think about the larger picture.