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“If you are always planning a wedding…

… Then you don’t have time to plan a divorce.” At least that is what Jackie, wife of former NBA player Doug Christie, says. This couple has had 16 weddings – one for every year of their marriage. We are not just talking vow renewal. We are talking dress, cake, wedding planners, the whole 9 yards. When I first heard about Doug and Jackie, I thought that it was a little over the top.  I thought that maybe they have too much money and don’t know what else to do with it. That or that she is crazy. I am not an avid watcher of Basketball Wives LA but when I heard that they were featuring the wedding, I had to watch a few episodes to see what it was all about.

I heard this quote by Jackie and it really got me thinking. I completely agree with her. Do I think you need to have a wedding every year? No, but that would be pretty fun, at least for dorks like me. But it’s not the wedding that really matters. It’s the reminder of why you love each other and why you made the commitment in the first place. Even after 16 years of marriage, Doug broke into tears when repeating his vows. Isn’t it so reassuring that there are some famous couples out there who can make it? You hear about the dream couples like J. Lo and Marc or Will and Jada who divorce and it breaks my heart. It makes me wonder if it is because of their fame or another reason.

I recently heard that the staggering “50% of all marriages end in divorce” is not actually true. What is true is that percentage increases significantly for  first time marriages. I also don’t think the people who marry five times for 6 months and divorce help these statistics. Most of the ones we hear about are celebrities, but that doesn’t mean they are to blame. They are just the ones we hear about.

The reason marriages succeed is because the people in them are willing to MAKE it work. It is not always easy. I know you have heard it from grandparents or the miracle couples who have lasted 30, 40 or even 60 years together. Those are the people to whom you should listen! They made it 60 years! Hello!!! I can’t claim to be an authority on how to make your marriage work since I have only been married for 2 months, but I do know that it will take work and there will always be trying times ahead. As long as you are willing to put in some effort, it is possible to make your marriage work. If it means renewing your vows every year, do it. Take a note from Doug and Jackie. If they can do it, so can you!

Because every post is better with a photo, here’s one of my absolute favorites from my photographer, Erica Hilliard.

 

 


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