The last two years have been full of weddings for me and my husband. Last summer, we had three weddings in July, one of which was our own! It seemed to be an ongoing joke that the married guys would tell the soon-to-be married ones that their life was over and they would suffer a slow death by getting married. Of course this was all in jest, but it got me thinking. I mean, life as we know it is over as soon as we say “I do.” Once you becoming someone’s wife/husband, you will never be the same. Not that it is a bad thing!
So as I contemplated this, I came up with a few things that every couple should do between the time they get engaged and the time they get married. A pre-wedding bucket list if you will.
1. Spend some QT with your parents… alone.
My mom and I have always had a tradition where we take a long weekend and go on a trip together. It might be to the beach, to a winery, or even just to her house. But we’ve always made a point of spending some QT alone together. Though I know they can be a pain in the butt sometimes, your parents did bring you into this world and raised you to be the person you are today. They deserve to spend some time with their child. While your future spouse should be an important part of their life too, they can and do miss you often. So I suggest spending a long weekend with them and to do something fun. It may just be spending time watching movies and eating chocolate all weekend. Just do something with them that will remind them they are not losing you and that you still love them just as much as when you were little.
2. Have a conversation about finances.
No one really wants to do this, but it is a necessary evil. You and your future intended should sit down and discuss how you plan to handle your finances. Do you want to keep separate accounts and split the bills? Do you want to pour everything into a joint account? Or do you want to have a combo of both with a joint account for bills and separate spending accounts? Any of these options can work as long as you both agree. They say one of the main reasons why couples end in divorce is due to disagreements about money. Don’t add yourselves to this list!
3. Go on vacation.
Yeah right. Spend money on a vacation while you are trying to save for a wedding and honeymoon? I’m sure you are thinking I am crazy, but I think it is important to spend some relaxing time with your significant other before the wedding. I am not saying to go to a five star resort. I am just saying that you need to take a vacation from wedding planning and spend some time together. It can be to your family’s cabin in the woods or even a stay-cation at home. Plan on going mini-golfing or making s’mores by a fire pit. Just spend a few days not thinking about the wedding and reminding yourselves why you are getting married. In other words, just love each other!
4. Have a bachelor/bachelorette party.
Simple enough, right? Almost every bride and groom plans on doing this anyway, but there are a few out there who do not want to have one. All bachelorette parties do not have to include strippers, drinking and hangovers. If you are not a party girl, then stay in and spend some time with your closest girlfriends. If you are, then go to Vegas! You will only have one shot at having a bachelorette party, so do what works for you. Some couples do not want to have them because they are worried about strippers and inappropriate behavior. Honestly, not having a bachelor/bachelorette party is not going to stop the inappropriate behavior. If that is the case, I think you should reevaluate whether or not you should be getting married at all. Go out with your friends and celebrate your upcoming nuptials!!
5. If you are not living together already, discuss living arrangements.
So many couples are choosing to live together before getting married. There is nothing wrong with that. Joey and I bought a house together before we were even engaged. So I don’t judge. Discussing your future living arrangements is just as important as discussing your finances. Talk about your previous experiences living with roommates and what bothered you and what you liked about it. Do you both hate to do dishes? If so, then you may want to come up with a plan of attack so neither is blaming the other for leaving dirty dishes in the sink. You may want to make sure your future place has a dishwasher. It is all about working together. For anyone who has lived with someone else, you know it isn’t always easy. Many friendships can end because of living together. But if you discuss this in advance, then you should be able to make it work. It would be pretty embarrassing to list “unable to agree on who takes out the garbage” as the reasoning for a divorce.
There is a good start to your pre-wedding bucket list. So what would you add? I’d love to hear what you are planning before the big day!!