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Weddings at The Mansion

Nicki Ann's Wedding Blog

In her blog, Nikki Ann shares with you her insights, thoughts, and feelings on all things women, wedding, marriage, and event-related.


Bueller, Bueller…

November 15th, 2013

That must have been what you felt like with me missing for so long. Well I am back and working on some really great things to share with you. Real weddings, Tuesday Shoesday, Friday Finds, Bridal Bootcamp… the list goes on!

So why have I neglected you? Well, there has been a lot going on around here. Our 2013 wedding season is over. I can’t even believe that myself. If you are getting married in 2014, look out because it will be here before you know it! Not only that, but I also happened to have a baby at the beginning of May. Jordan Joseph decided to come a month early and surprise us all. He was only 3lbs 2oz. Little but completely healthy. And because I am a mom now, I have to share pictures of the little guy! These first two were when he was just two months old and taken by Jen McKen.

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And don’t worry, my pooches are getting along with him just fine.

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 And this is him now at a whopping 15lbs 5 oz and 6 months old. I think the shirt days it all, but I might be biased.

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Stay tuned!

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New Mansion Family Additions!!

October 29th, 2012

Wow! There are a lot of babies up in here! Two Mansion couples have welcomed little bundles of joy into the world.

Shawn & Sindu Keefer welcomed a baby girl, Sahira, into the world on Sunday, October 14, 2012.

I don’t know if I have ever seen a baby with THAT much hair!!! So sweet :)

Chris & Debbie Tator also had a baby girl, Emily, on Friday, October 19, 2012.

Photo by Bella Baby Photography

So precious! Something must be in the water!!

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Well, it’s here…

May 10th, 2012

My 30th birthday is here. I am not one to mourn the passing of another year, but to embrace it. I’ve been known to yell “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!” randomly throughout the day in the past. I am sure it will happen today at some point. Oh wait, I did already. The only people home when I did it were my dogs though, so maybe it doesn’t count. I plan to spend the day working a job I LOVE. Then, a little QT with my hubby and the puppies. Joey is either making me dinner or taking me out. I haven’t decided yet. I’ve gotten so many Facebook comments, phone calls and text messages that I am ready to throw my phone out the window. With all of that said, I couldn’t be more blessed or happier with my life.

A few years ago, I couldn’t imagine having everything I wanted. Nothing seemed to come easy. Now as I look back on that, I am glad it didn’t come easy. I learned from each and every experience. I became who I am today because of those experiences. This post might get a little long, but IT’S MY BIRTHDAY so I’ll write what I want!

Ten things I’ve learned in my 30 years:

1. Don’t live with your friends for too long.

When I went to college, I was assigned to room with a total stranger. I was pretty excited to meet someone new, but nervous because I didn’t know this broad. We spoke on the phone prior to moving in, but didn’t really know what to expect. Once we moved in, we were immediately best friends. We were inseparable. We had so much in common it was kind of weird. People actually referred to me as “Nicole of Lindsay & Nicole.” We came as a pair. Everyone knew it. When our sophomore year roommate requests came, we of course picked each other. That’s where it went wrong. We loved each other, but being so close (it was a dorm room for Pete’s sake) for so long damaged our friendship. We are still friends, but nowhere near as close. I miss her sometimes, but know if I ever needed anything or vice versa, we’d be there for each other.

2. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

OK, so maybe that first job out of college is about what you know, but after that, it doesn’t matter anymore. Life is about networking. The more people you know, the better. And make sure those people come from all walks of life. All colors, shapes, sizes, textures, personalities… You never know when you might need them. Or they might need you. Not that I am saying you should abuse your relationships, but “need” comes in may different forms.

3. You’re never too old to need your parents.

One of the first people I call when I am mad, happy, sad, or all three is my mom. She listens, takes my side, tells me I am acting stupid and loves me all the same. It’s unconditional. When I am sick, I want my mom. When I need to vent, I call my mom. When I have a question about my garden, I call my mom. When I am stuck in traffic, I call my mom. When my mom called this morning to wish me happy birthday, I thanked her for having me. And loving me.

4. Learn the value of a dollar.

I got a job when I was 16. Before that, I had been earning my keep by doing chores and helping my mom around the house. Since it was just the two of us, I had to help out. I know what it’s like to live on food stamps. I know what it’s like to not have designer clothes like my friends. I had to save every summer so that I could afford to go to college. I am not saying that people who haven’t had these experiences don’t know the value of a dollar. I am saying that despite all of these things, my mom instilled a work ethic in me that every parent should. I am not afraid of a little hard work. I know that with that hard work comes rewards. Every child should be taught that so they can appreciate what they have and not take it for granted.

5. Trust your instincts.

Even if those instincts lead you into something bad, it happens for a reason. I’ve made A LOT of mistakes in my life, but I know now that I will never make those mistakes again. Ever heard of “fight or flight?” It is real. Your body will tell you whether it is worth it to fight or run. Trust it.

6. Exercise and eat healthy (most of the time)

As you know, I’ve recently taken my health back. It was the best 30th birthday gift I could have even given myself. I feel better about myself than I have since high school. I am strong. I am confident. It feels good to be me. I am not saying I don’t indulge in the occasional dessert or gorge myself on pasta from time to time or drink beer and wine (Lord knows I do a lot of that!). But I know that if I want another 30+ years on this planet, I have to take care of myself. Like right now, I just saw a commercial for a ChocoTaco and thought, “Oh wow, I want one.” We’re not perfect, but you do the best you can.

7. Find what you are passionate about and do it.

You remember the advice from people when you were choosing your major in college? They all said, “Pick something you’ll enjoy doing. Don’t worry about how much you’ll get paid.” Part of me has to call bullshit on that, part of me says “amen.” I can’t think of many college kids who know what they want to do for the rest of their lives. But as long as you keep exploring your dreams and striving to reach your goals, you will end up being happy with your life and career choice. Take me for instance. A year ago, I was working in a job that paid the bills, but I dreaded going to work every day. I was miserable. Now, I am doing something I love and am incredibly passionate about. I love going to work. It is overwhelming at times, but I love it. I am a better person because of it. You keep reaching for it and eventually you will catch it.

8. Be a good friend.

I wasn’t always the best friend. I didn’t always make attempts to see my friends or spend time with them. I’ve put work, school, boyfriends, or my own laziness over my friends. But as I have gotten older, I realized just how important good friends are. You’ll lead a pretty boring and lonely life without friends. I would have never met Joey without my friends – one introduced us, the other agreed to go out with me that night so I wouldn’t have to be alone. They are the ones to buy you a birthday drink or bring over a bottle of wine when your heart gets broken. They don’t judge you and you can be yourself with them. Don’t take them for granted because you never know when they may be gone.

9. Don’t forget to schedule playtime.

I do this all the time. Forget that is. I work a lot. Sundays are my only real day off. Six days a week at between 8-10 hours a day makes for a long week. I am not afraid to admit that I have to schedule time to see my friends or spend some time with my hubby and puppies. It is so important to remember to fill your life with things you enjoy and not just working all day, every day. Go to a movie. Take a hike. Throw the ball for your dogs in the backyard. Sit on the deck on a warm spring morning and read a book. Whatever your pleasure, make sure you do it. Even if you do love your job, your life shouldn’t revolve around it.

10. Love fiercely.

I would honestly do any and everything for my family and friends. My husband means more to me than I ever thought possible. I literally mean it when I say, “If you hurt him, I’ll kill you.” Ok, well maybe I’d just break their knee caps, but you know. I am honest with the people I love. Sometimes brutally. But they know that is just the type of person I am and they expect it. I knew three months in to my relationship with Joey that I would marry him someday. We always put each other first. We always kiss and say “I love you” before we go to sleep. He gives the best hugs. He makes a mean spaghetti sauce. He is the only person I can imagine growing old with. I hope every single one of you feel the same way about your significant other. Everyone deserves to have that feeling.

Now, as I take my old bones and get ready to meet some new potential brides this afternoon, I will be thinking of everything I am so grateful for and how lucky I am to have the life I do. And if you hear me yell “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY” today, you’ll know why. I’m celebrating life.

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Guilty Pleasures

February 6th, 2012

Ok, so I have to take a moment to talk about the most recent episode of Gossip Girl. It is one of my guilty pleasures. After the end of The OC, I had to find something to fill the void. Since they are both created and written by the same people, here I am. A Gossip Girl addict. Last weeks episode featured the wedding we’ve all been waiting for… Blair and Louis. No, I am not rooting for Louis. I just really like weddings. I am really hoping that Blair gets over her pact with the big guy upstairs and gets back together with Chuck. I loved the scheming drama produced by Blair + Chuck. And wouldn’t her union with Louis mean that she’d have to move to Monaco to be a proper part of the royal family? So sorry Louis, even though I thought you were a nice guy (until the end of the episode that is!), I was still rooting for the bad guy. And really, Dan? He just does not fit into this love triangle, or square, whatever you want to call it. And who else can sense that Georgina is not the real Gossip Girl and most likely just a hacker? I mean, come on. They can’t reveal that until the very last season or possibly even last episode. Where would the show go from there? Also, what the heck was up with that weird intro? Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn? I just didn’t really get it.

With my little rant out of the way, I want to talk about the actual wedding stuff involved. I will say that I wish we could have seen more details of the wedding, but I know this is not a TV show about weddings, so I will let that slide. So let’s focus on the attire. As we know from another episode, Vera Wang was the designer of the gowns for Blair and all her bridesmaids. And she did not disappoint. I love Vera and her style.

So let’s talk about the bridesmaids dresses first…

I completely love the idea of having different dresses for the maid of honor and the bridesmaids. I think the design fit Serena (Blake Lively) perfectly. Though I honestly don’t know of a single dress that wouldn’t look good on her. The short dresses are incredibly adorable and I am pretty sure I want this just to wear out on the town one night. Both are super flirty and cute. Just an all around ball of fun.

It was super sweet how she had Cyrus help walk her down the aisle. But I digress… I love the romantic feel of the lace on this dress. I think they really hit the nail on the head with this one. Everything, from the hair to the veil to the dress, just meshed so well. I kind of expected to see Blair in something a little more edgy, but this was really perfect and appropriate for the wedding. I will say that I was actually a bigger fan of the dress we spied her trying on when Vera actually made her appearance on the show. What do you think?

I guess I just feel this one is a little more like the recent Vera that I have been seeing all over the place. I love the layered “fluff.” It is just so whimsical and pretty, like a princess should be.

Well enough of pushing my guilty pleasure on you. If you are a Gossip Girl fan yourself, then you will appreciate this. If not, at least you got to see a few pretty dresses!! But now you know where I will be tonight… watching the next episode :)

XOXO,

Gossip

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2012 Resolutions

December 28th, 2011

Well, I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday! I know I did. Busy, busy! Traveling to spend time with family is always burdensome, but once we arrive at our destination I am always glad we did.

I recently revisited my 2011 resolutions and found that all in all, I did pretty well. If you didn’t read it, you can here. It’s time to start thinking about 2012 and what I can do to better my life in the upcoming year.

2011 has been a great year. I’ve had so many changes and have become an even better person than I was the year before. At least I think so! I like to break out my resolutions in three different categories – health, personal, and business/career. I do this because I don’t want to skimp in any area. This encompasses my entire life and I do try to keep my career and personal life separate so that I can enjoy both fully while I am doing them. And what red-blooded American woman doesn’t have “Lose 10 lbs” on their resolution list? Well, technically, I don’t have that. But 10 would be nice!

Health

This was the one area in which I didn’t complete all my goals from last year, specifically the races, so by default they will be added to this years. It’s not like I can’t do it, I was just too lazy to actually register for the runs. I was running a 5k every other day either on my treadmill at home or with my dog in the park. It just wasn’t an actual race. So…

1. I resolve to Run the Race for the Cure – This is actually a little closer to my heart because my aunt had a little scare earlier this year. While she has been lucky so far, breast cancer does actually run in my family. So with that said, I have actually already logged onto the website and registered myself. If you would like to donate to my fundraising goals, you can check out my personal page here. I have set my goal at $250, but I am hoping to far surpass that. If you would like to join me in the run, you can register yourself here. I would love a training/running buddy!

2. I resolve to Run a 10k – I have decided to run the City of Pittsburgh Great Race 10k in September. Registration opens January 1st, so as soon as that is available I will do that and be done. Then all I have to do is train. Again, training/running buddies are welcome!

3. I resolve to complete P90X – Yes. I am subjecting myself to this torture. Ha! I am actually joining a fitness challenge with a group of friends who are all doing this starting January 9th. Each day we will text/call/email each other to make sure we are following through. My dream is to feel comfortable in a bathing suit in public. So I guess I have to start somewhere!

Personal

I really think my resolution for last year was a success in this category. I really want to expand on that this year. It was so hard to measure if I completed this one because I am the only one who can say whether or not I did it. I think that this year, I need to be able to measure whether or not I’ve accomplished my goal.

4. With that said, I resolve to set aside at least one night per month to have a girls night- whether it be going to a movie and dinner or out on the town. I love my hubby dearly, but QT with my girlfriends cannot be replaced. I hope to do it more often, but I have to start somewhere.

5. As cheesy as it is, I resolve to spend more QT with my handsome husband. Not in the form of “date night” per se, but just by cooking him a nice dinner (or him cooking me dinner!) and watching a movie together at home. After all, we do have two kids (fur babies, I’m not hiding anything from y’all!) and they need love and attention too.

Career

As you all know, the past year has been crazy and quite a few unexpected changes happened. All of them for the better. I am a happier person. I actually LOVE my job. Not many people can say that. Now that I have been working at the Mansion for almost 4 months, I have learned many of the ins and outs of my position. I still have a lot to learn, but it is so nice to be able to function in my new job without being completely dependent on someone else.

6. In order to better myself and learn more, I resolve to attend more seminars/webinars/conferences. I plan on reading books that will help me learn more about marketing, social networking, customer service, whatever. Hell, I might even take a class this year. So with this resolution, I plan on becoming a better event coordinator by learning as much as physically possible.

Six things. That’s it. Six. One of which I have already started on by registering for the Race for the Cure. I hope you have made some great resolutions. If you want to share, feel free! I will help you follow through!

 

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Best of Nicki Ann 2011

December 26th, 2011

I think this was a pretty good one too :)

Well ladies and gents, I have exciting news. Some of you may know already, but some of you don’t. I have accepted a position with the Mansion at Maple Heights as the Wedding and Events General Manager. Those of you who know me personally know this is a dream job for me. And you may also know that my day job was not quite my cup of tea. I love the lovey-dovey, gooey-ness of weddings and now I get to do what I love everyday.

So you may wonder what effect that has on Nicki Ann Events… Well for those of you who hold contracts with me, it doesn’t mean a darn thing. I am still here and going to uphold those contracts. I will be there every step of the way and will help you to plan your event perfectly down to the very last dance of your big day. For those of you who have not booked Nicki Ann Events, you will have to hold on for a bit.

While I have put a lot of energy into building my own business in the last year, it has not grown enough to support me or my family. Don’t get me wrong. I knew it wouldn’t happen overnight. So I was waking up and dragging myself out of bed every morning to go to a job that was just that. A job. It paid the bills. I worked with such wonderful people and thank goodness for them because there is no way I could have lasted 5 years there without them. Three of my co-workers even ended up being my bridesmaids and best friends. I am so excited to wake up in the morning and actually want to go to work. I know that when the time comes and I have gotten and given all I can from the Mansion, I can move on to my own thing. And the best part is that the rest of the staff at the Mansion believes the same thing.

Now for the really exciting news! You will still be able to get your fill of Tuesday Shoesday, Friday Finds, and the rest of the witty humor I bring to this blog. So rest assured I am not going anywhere… except to a new web address. You’ll be able to follow the adventures of Nicki Ann more frequently too since it will actually be part of my job. The address to be announced. But for now, I’d like to leave you with a little something to make you jealous and hopefully make you reach for your dreams like I did mine.

My “office” :)

XOXO,
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2011 Resolutions – Reflection

December 7th, 2011

Well, it is that time again. Time to make a list of things that I want to accomplish in the next year. For those of you who have been reading for awhile, you might remember my 2011 Resolutions. If not, click the link and go read it. I am going to revisit those and see how I did. I have to say overall, I am happy with the results. A few things really irked me because they were silly things I could have accomplished and made excuses.

So to recap quickly, my resolutions were broken down into 3 categories – health (like every other man, woman or bride on earth), personal, and business. So let’s go back to the future and check them out.

Health

In the health category, I wanted to continue to eat healthy and take care of myself, run the Race for a Cure, and run a 10k by the end of the year. Pass, fail, fail. I did take better care of myself. I did eat better. I didn’t run the races. This is the part that I am pretty bummed about to be honest. I was running three to four times a week at 3 miles a pop. I could have EASILY run those races. I made excuses and didn’t set aside the time to actually register and run them. They will go onto 2012’s resolutions by default because if I fail to meet a goal, it can’t end just because the year is over. I have to keep trying!

Personal

In the personal category, I wanted to be a better friend, wife and family member. I think I have made progress in this area. I made more time for friends, but not enough time. Getting married takes up a lot of time. Planning my wedding consumed my life for a majority of 2011. I did make an effort to text/call people more often and send random cards, but was awful in actually setting up times to spend QT with my girlfriends, my mom and dad, my doggies and my husband. I do work a lot. But again, that is just an excuse. I remember a time when I was working part-time, going to college full-time, president of my sorority, a philanthropist, a girlfriend, a best friend, a daughter and overall awesome person :) I just make excuses! Time to man up. Or friend up. Whatever.

Business

Again, for those of you who have been reading me for awhile, you know that this was a crazy year for me in general. Business-wise, it has been a whirlwind. I decided in fall of 2010 to launch my wedding planning business. It was slow. No one ever said it was going to happen over night. I just kept pushing. Trying to find new ideas and ways to market myself became the way I spent my commute to my day job. I registered for conferences in Vegas and webinars/conference calls to continue learning and growing. This one is hard because I did have to make a tough decision to let go of my own business for the time being. But at the same time, I am now doing what I love every single day rather than just dreaming about it. I know at some point, I will own my own business. So technically, I didn’t fail at building my business because everything I do on a daily basis is only helping me to build a business for myself in the future.

Another part of this was to clean and organize my office so I have a place to work while I am at home. One of the best parts about my job with the Mansion is that I work from home a few days during the week when I do not have tours scheduled. The office became a necessity because I could either get a TON done without distractions sitting in my office or I can get nothing done because I set up at my dining room table. Two dogs and a husband did not make for a very serene environment. I still haven’t gotten my desk. I’ve been using two 4 foot folding tables end to end with a table cloth as a desk. Do you know how hard it is to find exactly what you want and not be willing to budge?! But thanks to my best friend’s dad, I am having one built for me. It is going to be perfect. And you bet your bottom I will post a picture of it once it is done. It’s going to be glorious.

I also promised that I would blog at least once a week. I didn’t fully succeed on this either. I missed one week. Missing one out of 52 weeks isn’t too shabby! Especially since I got married and was out of the country for 9 days! The real goal wasn’t to necessarily blog every week. It was to keep myself motivated and always researching and staying on top of the trends. It was about not letting my dream slip away because I was wrapped up in everything else or just plain being lazy. I have become a frequent blogger. I love writing. I may not be the best writer in the world, but I am getting better and better with each post. That was really the goal.

Now what?

I am going to be writing another post soon with new resolutions for 2012. I share these things not because I want you to be up in my business, but because I want to be held accountable. I truly am disappointed that I never ran those races. You better believe I will do it in 2012. Heck, I may even find myself a 5k and run it before the end of the year. It’s not over yet! I am generally happy with the way the rest of the year has gone. I think this year I have become a better person and have grown a lot. I’ve come to accept that life is life. Good and bad things are going to happen. You just gotta roll with the punches. You won’t always meet your goals, but as long as you are working toward them you will get there someday.

So stay tuned for my new resolutions for 2012. Maybe some of you will share yours with me. We can be accountability buddies. So start thinking and get ready to be held accountable.

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Makeover time!

November 30th, 2011

Any newlywed bride knows that when the wedding planning is over, you go through a little bit of withdrawal. You have all this free time that you just don’t know what to do with. And of course there is the slow… ok, rapid decline of your body because of course you don’t quite stop yourself when those french fries are staring you in the face because you no longer have that dress to fit into.

Now, I am lucky enough to have gotten my wonderful job at the Mansion because now I can help plan other weddings. But the other part, well I am completely guilty. Add that on top of the faded tan and grown out hair that I haven’t cut in almost 3 months and I was in a rut. I’d wake up, shower up and do my make-up. Then I’d still feel icky.

So I scheduled myself a hair appointment. I have been seeing the same stylist for 3 or 4 years now. I love her. You know how you get attached to people, well she is no exception. Katy from La Pomponnee in Mt. Lebanon is a pretty stellar hair stylist. I trust her opinion and know she would never steer me wrong. I think this whole thing actually came about because I was an awful client and completely forgot about my appointment and had to wait an additional 2 weeks to get in to see her. By this point, I was so fed up with my hair that I was ready for something drastic.

I started doing research and found this picture of Reese Witherspoon on People.com.

I haven’t had bangs since the third grade. So I was hesitant to do something as drastic as that. But I couldn’t get that picture out of my head. So I took it to Katy and said, “What do you think?” I could tell she was hesitant, so I just asked her to do what she thought was best.

I also set up an appointment with the wonderful and fabulous Julie Marckisotto, owner of Pittsburgh Makeup, who did my makeup on my wedding day. You can also read the blog featuring an interview with her here. I was never a little girl obsessed with makeup and dolls growing up. I was more interested in playing with Tonka trucks. So it is no surprise that I never really learned how to do makeup.

Enlisting Julie to teach me how to  do my makeup was the best decision I ever made. She helped me go through my makeup bag and picked out the pieces that actually do work and the ones that are slightly (meaning VERY) old and needed thrown out. Then, it was on to teaching me some techniques so I am able to recreate the look again in the future. That’s why the lessons are so great! Sure, she can do my makeup for me, but it only lasts one day. With the lesson, I can do it over and over again.

We started with a day look, which of course, I didn’t get an pictures of. I forgot. Ugh. But then Julie showed me how to vamp it up a little and create a night look by just adding a little bit here and there.

I can’t believe I am about to do this, but I am showing you a before and after. The before is a little embarrassing because I am completely makeup-less and my hair is kind of all over the place. To be honest, it’s not like I go out in public looking quite THAT bad. But I was on my way to the hair stylist and didn’t really do much to myself since I knew they would do everything for me :) So here goes nothing.

BEFORE

AFTER

Now I know it might look like it, but I did not cut the length of my hair. It was a self portrait, so it is just the angle. The bangs aren’t quite the same as Reese’s, but I trusted Katy.

So? Tell me what you think!!!

XOXO,

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Random Thoughts: Veteran’s Day

November 11th, 2011

Wow are you lucky! You get two posts in one day! I just felt like writing actually. You know how sometimes you get an urge to do something and it just bothers you until you do it? Well, this is it. Typically, any of my posts that begin with Random Thoughts are going to be the product of one of these days.

So today is Veteran’s day. One of the few days a year that we dedicate to our past, present and future soldiers. These men and women risk their lives to ensure that we can live in this country believing and doing whatever we please. Yet, it is not until this day rolls around that I see post after post on facebook thanking our troops for everything. I am guilty too, so I am not placing blame here.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that Veteran’s day is like going to church only on Christmas and Easter. You know you should do it more, but you don’t. Life gets in the way. Everyone is busy with work, school, kids, whatever. I am not perfect. I don’t go to church every week. I work a lot. I’m tired on Sundays. Not that it is any excuse. I go more than a lot of people.

I don’t thank my friends and family who have served in the military everyday either.

But I think that is the beauty of Veteran’s day. It’s not like we don’t thank soldiers more often because we are ungrateful. Every single one of us is thankful for our freedom. The beauty of Veteran’s day (like going to church) is that it reminds us to stop and thank those in the military, regardless of what else we are doing that day.

I’d like to pose a challenge. While I know you will not post a “thanks” to veterans every day of the year on facebook, just be sure you keep them in your prayers, meditations, thoughts, or random reflections of life every day. After all, they are the ones who allow you to think freely ad believe in what you want.

With that, I am going to list the names the people I know who have fought in the military to thank them for being so unselfish. Please feel free to do the same in the comments section!

Thank you: Dawn Howell, Erik Baker, John Eshenbaugh, Christian Wolfe, Tom Medovitch, Shannon Ritter, Eric Hudak

If I have forgotten anyone, please don’t be mad! I have the pleasure of being able to edit this anytime I’d like :)

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What not to say…

September 25th, 2011

Now that I am married, there are a few things I do NOT want to hear from people. So let’s talk about what not to say to newlywed brides…

1. “So, when are you going to have babies??”

This is my absolute biggest pet peeve. Please, please, please do not let this be your first question to the new bride and groom. They just got married for Pete’s sake! Let them enjoy each other for a day or so before you jump in and start the pressure to have children. That is a pretty private and personal question to be asking, especially if you barely know the bride. Unless they have talked with you about wanting to have children right away, do not ask this. Have you ever thought that maybe they are unable to have children? Or maybe they just don’t want to have children, period? Now I may be pushing 30 (eeks!), but my biological clock only has a low, faint tick right now. I am just not quite ready. Neither is my husband. We might be next year or not for another 5 years. But asking me every time you see me is not going to make me any more ready anytime sooner. We get puppies instead. At least we can put them in a kennel when they are bad.

2. “So do you plan on quitting your job/staying home and taking care of the children?” (i.e. “Will you be putting your children in daycare?”)

First, see #1. If you’ve breached this topic and they are planning on having children soon, why would you think this is any of your business? And furthermore, with this economy there are really not many couples who can afford to live on one income. Let’s step out of the 1950s people. The woman does not have to stay at home to take care of her children. Daycare is a perfectly normal choice for children of working parents. I am a product of daycare. I, while some people may beg to differ (hehe!), turned out normal. In fact, I am sure my outgoing personality is due to the fact that I was in daycare. And have you ever considered that the woman might LIKE her career? I am not knocking people who are financially and mentally capable of having one parent stay home with the children. My MIL was a stay at home mom. He had a great childhood and is very… normal? (Just kidding babe!) I am just saying that you should not force your own opinions on other people. After all, they are capable adults who just got married. I think they can make a decision together on how to care for their children.

3. “So how many months are you?” (i.e. “You LOOK pregnant.”)

Really?! I know most brides workout and eat healthier (or just not at all, which I do not recommend!) right before their big day. I did too. I also know how easy it is to put on a few pounds during the honeymoon. I also ate anything and everything that I wanted while I was on my honeymoon. And now I have been kicking myself for it. But really?! Please do not indicate to any newlywed bride that she looks like she has gained a few pounds. We know. We can tell how our clothes fit. Thanks for pointing it out though. I think I’ll just go eat a cake now.

4. “He’ll always be his mother’s son.”

I’ve addressed this in a previous post, Tips from a Married Lady…. I KNOW this. But I am his wife, not his mom. I do not expect to take over her role or take her place. She’s his mother, for Pete’s sake! There is room for two women in his life. It is a shame that people get this confused. I just don’t think people know how annoying it is when people say this. He may be his mother’s son, but he is his own man. He is capable of making decisions and doing things on his own. Now this statement is even worse if it comes from your husband’s mom. It’s like she is saying, “You may have married him, but I’ll always come first.” Mom gets jealous of her new daughter-in-law and tries to put her in her place. Come on! Curb the jealousy and accept a new person into your family. Maybe it will be nice to have a fresh, new person around. Thankfully, I do not have first hand experience with this one. I’ve seen it though. Just remember how this feels ladies because when you have grown children, you do not want to be the one saying this to your daughter-in-law.

I am sure these are just a few of the things that newlyweds hear in their first few months of marriage. Can you think of any others?

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